grow something new

Harvest Festival

Lament of a Child Soldier

Daddy, you are strong and you are big,

But right now I’m scared to death.

It is dark, and I’m trying to sleep in this shadow,

But I can’t.

The enemy is all around.

I’m so confused, because now I am also the enemy.

Who can I trust except you?

I can’t even trust myself.

My heart is pounding with fear, Daddy.

I am scared to die and I am scared to kill.

They said this weapon was built just for me.

Why me?

I didn’t want to do this; I had no choice.

But maybe it’s my fault, Daddy.

What did I do wrong?

Why do I have to fight?

I’m pretty sure you are the only one who can save me.

I don’t know who is good and who is bad;

I don’t know where my family is;

I don’t know what direction my house is from here.

Daddy, I don’t even know where you are right now.

Are you in this darkness?

Can I trust that you will protect me?

All we want is to go home; all we want is peace.

We used to whisper about it as we were falling asleep,

But one time they heard and hurt us.

If I whisper peace in my heart,

Will you still hear it?

I’m not even really sure that you are listening to this prayer right now.

But mama said you listen to me, wherever I am and wherever you are.

So I’m trying to be good,

Even though I’ve become bad.

Save me, Daddy.

I don’t know how much longer I will last.

Please, please, please hear me in this darkness.

[written for my Psalms class this week as we study laments * perhaps it is presumptuous to assume to know how a child would lament, but this is at the very least my prayer for them]

Butterflies of Uganda

 

It is one thing to learn about a topic in class, and quite another to see a live rendition on stage.  Having just completed my Children at Risk class, of which child soldiers was one component, our class went to see this play about kids captured by the LRA in northern Uganda.  Knowledge and emotion go hand in hand in creating a response.  Sometimes I'm scared I'll study things so much that I become desensitized to them.  Then I worry about sensationalized advocacy - do we react without truly understanding what's going on?  Where is the voice of the child? 

Butterflies of Uganda was poignant and powerful, as a young girl tells her story and the entire play weaves the history from Joseph Kony's original "revelation" to today.  Perhaps what struck me most is the flashbacks used throughout.  This is a conflict that is already impacting generations of Ugandans.  In class, as we learned about symptoms of trauma and best practices, I get the urge to do something now.  At the same time there's no way I would dismiss what I am learning now in order to naivley jump into something.  So, my conclusion is: great play, and great time at Fuller, and great anticipation of how God will use all this as His healing graces the world.

Fires

Just because so many of you have been writing and calling...yes, I am still in my apartment and there are no fires close to us in Pasadena.  The sun was super bright this morning, and as it sets this evening you can see that the sky is filled with smoke.  Crazy how BBC's headlines point straight here, and yet life carries on as normal.  For me, anyway.  And crazy how I still can't imagine the magnitude of what is happening even though it's just a short drive away. 

 

Sara

My beautiful wonderful friend Sara got to meet the president of Ethiopia!

Check out her blog as she begins her work with kids + fruit trees...Sara's Blog.

It's weird to not be together, after all our adventures in Florida and Haiti and Burkina (and even a day in Mexico thrown in there).  Yeah for the internet so I can live vicariously through her : )

Ventura

A cool sunny day with SIS friends at Ventura Harbor...

Pasadena Arts Night

Some recommendations for a good life in Pasadena:

The Jazz Institute (it's dark red inside, and i've never seen a bassist do such amazing things)

The striped room, Pasadena Museum of California Art (a striped room of striped things, and for some reason I really like it)

The Darjeeling Limited (i'm not much of a movie critic, but i absolutely loved this one!)

Burma

   

Awareness on our campus...thanks to Kristen's artwork.

And a petition...visit Amnesty International to take action.

Really, I just feel helpless.  Even having been there this summer, albeit for just a few hours, so much remains hidden.  So much goes on and we have no idea, and don't even care.  I'm blaming myself here too.  We read about injustice and want to DO something.  More often I end up doing nothing...because I have no idea what to do, or because there is so much injustice I don't know how to focus on any one issue, or because honesty I'm too absorped in the details of my own life.

Father, forgive us.

Pretty

Delicious Things

I have a lot of work to do today, with a 2-week intensive class (Children at Risk) beginning on Monday and all.  So, I'll let my lovely friend Jen do my blogging for me : )

Check out her blog for a little insight (and photos) from the South Pasadena Farmer's Market: Jen's Blog